(Emily and) Michelle: On the Concept of Peripheral Vision
by mmthemesq
Summary: Michelle's tendency to observe things...and yet act adorably clueless. Bi!Michelle... Michemily focus, season 1 - season 5 off-season. Rating for one swear word


**Hi! I want to apologise for the gaps in my stories (and producing yet another oneshot instead). Sorry, I've really been struggling with Michelle's character motivation/timeline recently and because I was already working through it I thought I'd share it in narrative form. Hope you enjoy :) -And yes, I'll be updating KMTT *and* the 6.5 AU asap. Alright, that's it:**

Michelle had known Emily's (she found out her name less than five minutes later) eyes had stayed on her as she shook Kate's hand for the first time. (Oh yeah, and then said dancer—_Dance Captain_, had peacocked through the office doors and cut through her awkward introduction. Contrary to what others might think, Michelle liked that: straight to the point).

(She might also have been slightly amused when Emily licked her lips after Kate publicly announced Michelle's arrival to the rest of the dancers; only slightly, though—it was nice to be taken seriously. She wasn't the only one nervous... it was, kinda good?)

"So Michelle, are you going to audition for Dance Captain? Do you want to help this team out? Do you want to be a part of the team still?" There was nothing subtle about the way Emily glared at her then. (And a part of her wondered if Emily had been so focused on staring her down that she'd completely missed the ultimatum shoved in Michelle's face. Oh well, one of Emily's friends would explain the situation surely!)

"You're in Studio B so we get Studio A. Have fun with that."

"Thank you." (O-kay, so she'd just nod genially and hope Emily got it.)

(...)

(...)

(Getting it was not one of Emily's strengths.)

(And maybe Michelle should have said something sooner. No, Michelle _definitely_ should have said something sooner—Michelle had never been tongue-tied from a look before. Neither had anyone snapped in her face. Or taken such obvious delight in instrumenting someone else's misfortune... She was cute though.)

(Michelle put it down to nerves.)

"So, I'm in the front?" (Maybe all the pressure would go away if they could be friends somehow, and A-Troupe could have _their Dance Captain_ back.)

_She_ hisses at her in return, as if her presence is mere inconvenience and cardinal sin all at once (and Michelle doesn't know what she's done.)

"Actually, the E-Girls are helping me out with dance camp so, we won't be able to join you." And no one's snapping or getting snapped at, and it's good until it isn't—"Dance camp was great, you know it was really nice doing something _productive_ for the studio"—(didn't she want to be left _alone_?)

"Obviously it's a no for Michelle so—"

"No. I'll come."

"Really?"

"Yeah. It's important to check out the competition, right?" (Liar. Well, not entirely. Michelle gives up trying to understand. Or maybe she's fed up of seeing the best in the person who, evidently wants to make her life miserable.)

"Leave Eldon out of our feud." (And—there it is! There's no going back now.)

Surprise of all surprises they've working together, not even together, but _together... like together(!) _for over a day and the world doesn't fall apart.

(Michelle even starts thinking that, one day, y'know in the distant future they'll finish that duet. Then Emily makes Chloe so stressed that, you know what? Everyone's got stuff going on and she'll trust Chloe that Emily _shouldn't_ know.)

(Although it would be better if she were the kind of person that could... Michelle supposes that's true for a lot of people, herself included. Maybe they just weren't meant to... she doesn't know... she'll sit tight and—)

(She's turned down the offer to overthrow Emily once, now she takes it. They were a team before her, the choice should be left up to the majority. It's the fair thing to do. It's the _right_ thing to do.)

(A lot more people join the dance than she's expecting, and it feels like all she does for the next four weeks is second guess herself.)

(Like she's stopped since she started. Or maybe should have started earlier. On and on.)

(She's not sure exactly, but between leaving it up to the people with experience and the looks Emily gives her—she sees _every one_... something doesn't quite fit and it's driving her up the wall. The snark, and mean comments well they'd hurt more if she wasn't so concerned.)

(It doesn't help when she falls for Emily's boyfriend... for real—_so_, she _was_ already falling...but then she's finished—and now it feels like she's being pulled in two different directions. Emily's friendship is important to her—like Riley's and Chloe's, she reminds herself and then wonders why she needs to.)

(Stephanie is slightly different, so is Amanda. Michelle wonders if _friends-but-not-quite_ come in types.)

"Charlie's cool and Riley's cool too." (Hunter's a manipulative bastard, and she should be angrier with Emily than she is, but at least she knows now, without doubt, for sure, that she's not crushing on her. Because then she would be crushing on Riley, and Charlie, and Eldon, and Stephanie, and Amanda, and Emily. Ha-ha-ha _nope_! If the concept of being a teenager ever scared her, it would be then.)

(So it turns out that her crush on Riley lasts little over a week. But her Hunter crush comes back, and she just wants everything to _stop_. _Ugh_!)

(She sees Emily talking to Eldon, and something tells her that Emily wants him back. She doesn't know why though—she remembers their conversation about him (you blush every time you see him) and continues to pretend she wasn't _listening_ in the first place.)

(Or that she's not looking as Emily creeps back to watch Eldon break up with her and the _not_regret on her face at how blunt he is. Part of her wants to grieve the end of their time together, and part of her just wants someone else who can relate to his lashing out whenever he feels hurt—she just wants to talk. And to be left alone. But it feels wrong to put her feelings on paper.)

(And not to be a literal cliché or anything but she's been thinking, and... the course of true love never did run smooth, and she has known Hunter—trusted him even, and, it's true, everyone makes mistakes. She knows enough to understand that anyone who says otherwise is a hypocrite.)

(Hunter calls her out during juices. _Everyone makes mistakes_... but she hates the way he makes her feel then. Oh. And she still loves Eldon. Because of course she does. _Great_.)

(She pretends not to be disappointed when Emily doesn't turn up to the debate with the team. She doesn't pull it off. But on the positive side, she doesn't let anyone know why until she talks to James in the mall. And even then—it just slips out, like she can't hold it back completely.)

(Riley and James make up and she's over the moon for them. That doesn't mean she doesn't see Emily refuse to cheer for them before she hugs Michelle. Michelle's heart does not jump at the idea of—finally-finally-_finallyfinally_—)

(They're both... jerks. They're both jerks to each other, and now that she's stopped kidding herself about it all—she refuses to take advantage. They've both been hurt before. They've both been hurt before _by each other_.)

(So when Emily winds up on the doorstep of her group dormitory she accepts the tickets for everyone inside without issue, but when Emily holds out the only other one of two pre-concert tickets... it-it's possible her mind freezes for a second and she just stands there looking—_gormless_, the Emily-voice inside her head offers.)

(Everyone is dressed up sharp for the concert, and she and Emily are no exception, she reminds herself. This isn't a date.)

(Then Tess and Amanda crash... whatever it was they were on, and it's time for Shawn Desman—Michelle had never thought she'd enjoy a meeting so thoroughly.)

(And all they did was talk about the team, maybe they really are friends. Cool. At last _something's sorted... _finally.)

(That does nothing to explain the burning in her chest whenever Emily and West talk to one another. He pulls her aside to flirt and Michelle swears—)

(Why was this not an issue when West hugged Emily on the dance floor? Her mind interrupts.)

(Shut up! She's not sure who she means that for anymore.)

(She does her best to tamp down the spark of triumph when Emily joins she, Chloe and Riley on their mall trip. This jealousy needs to end. Fine. Her jealousy. As if _she_—)

"Oh, um, good luck!" (Michelle is buying a souvenir for her Mom... Maybe _she_ _has_ changed, and maybe Michelle can learn to. She goes into the shop, a spring in her step.)

(She convinces herself to keep cheering when West kisses Emily, the trophy in her hands—then Amanda has taken it off her (she wasn't about to hold it with her, although yes, she does believe her friend to be more reformed than not but still—that's her _thing with Emily_) so at least she has a reason to look away from the kiss now.)

(It turns out she and Emily even re-join A-Troupe on the same day... which feels absolutely typical for them even though it's never happened before. And even that feels—)

(Emily's injured and they have to compete one on one—she might not walk out like Eldon, and she encourages him to come back because she should always put the team first so she does—but she feels sick to her stomach.)

"I think I'm gonna get a clean bill of health." (And Emily is gone from the team either way... otherwise she wouldn't be trying to convince Michelle, and herself, quite so hard.)

(She thinks about calling her out, but it seems like admitting to a lie, almost: _I know we've...had some kind of _bizarre_ connection since the moment I walked in here, and so I know your injury is a big deal but I'm here for you_—but then she'd have to explain why and... her head hurts.)

(And yeah, Emily would run away, completely and utterly _freaked out_—but that's notwhy she doesn't try... Right?)

(She watches Emily walk away until she can no longer see her, and just wishes she could be there, even to—but she doesn't know what to do.)

(When has she?)

...

(She doesn't know what to do, Riley obviously doesn't know what to do, and Emily—_of course_.)

"Everyone, this is my older sister _Emily_—" (Michelle doesn't hear anything after that, she's too self-conscious about how much she's smiling. But there's also a part of her that _could not care less_.)

(They could be gre—)

"I think you should be Dance Captain again." (Hold up. No.)

"I'm flattered but—no." (And it _is_ too much work. But also, Dance Captain is _theirs_—well, and Emily's cause obviously she's still as determined, and competitive and driven and pass—anyway but _still_.)

"Honestly I'd be honoured!" Emily rolls her eyes and it hurts a little bit, but not nearly as much as it used to. (Michelle's annoyed more than anything. But then why does it feel like Emily has something to prove to her when she turns around the photo of Riley and James?)

(...)

(...)

(...)

(...)

(Michelle doesn't see or hear from her for almost a year, and she's at her house with Riley often enough. _Emily's avoiding her_.)

(Oddly enough, Emily seems ecstatic when they run into each other during Neutral Grounds? And, it's official—Michelle has never understood _anything_ when it comes to this—_ugh!_ ..._She_ hugs her like she's been thinking about her the whole time they've been apart and Michelle's anger evaporates. She tells herself her change in mood has nothing to do with the fact that Emily still can't lie convincingly to her face, because that would mean she _matters_—she doesn't think either of them are ready for that.)

(Perhaps sometime soon.)


End file.
